You surviving the open bar?
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I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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