you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
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