I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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