i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
