I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
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