yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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