you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
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