looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
