He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
