the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
