Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
this just has baby written all over it
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
