i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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