Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
