i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
