Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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