Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Randomize
