She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
