what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
