so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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