idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
