Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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