i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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