thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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