I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
