"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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