I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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