a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
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