i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
