my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Randomize
