scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
