Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
