Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
