so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
