I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
it was like his penis was on wheels.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Randomize
