that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
My ATM looks so different sober.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
