Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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