just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
it wasn't lemon gatorade
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Randomize
