My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
