So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
