I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
