bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my phone needs a breathalizer
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
