love makes seman taste better
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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