nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
