His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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