I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
