there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
