you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
