I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
