I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
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