my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
