He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize