Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
