I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Girls should come with a carfax report
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
