so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
