He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Damn victory sex feels great
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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