Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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