did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
